I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize