She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm always down for nudity.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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