This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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