Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
