it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize