It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
