HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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