Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize