it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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