Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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