Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize