I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
