You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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