What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
