Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
