He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize