Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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