I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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