My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
