She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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