Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This is my gift to your gina
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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