Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
