the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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