if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Let's get the cat blown out
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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