lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
