apparently the secret to your success is patron
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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