Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
