I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
