You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
