He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
