I looked at my own cervix.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize