I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
