If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Drunk is a universal language darling
ok first of all what the fuck
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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