Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out http://tfl.nu/3q0w
  Replies (18) Good night (5254) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex. http://tfl.nu/mdk4
  Replies (14) Good night (4826) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit. http://tfl.nu/apjr
  Replies (37) Good night (1180) Bad night (6022)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again. http://tfl.nu/vfit
  Replies (5) Good night (4333) Bad night (1247)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up. http://tfl.nu/3e3n
  Replies (12) Good night (4003) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat. http://tfl.nu/q1ic
  Replies (27) Good night (5155) Bad night (1895)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work http://tfl.nu/ppy0
  Replies (16) Good night (1672) Bad night (3654)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college. http://tfl.nu/7djk
  Replies (4) Good night (2547) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday? http://tfl.nu/ynw6
  Replies (16) Good night (4505) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore. http://tfl.nu/m8nz
  Replies (9) Good night (2838) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon http://tfl.nu/2kt0
  Replies (12) Good night (1739) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you http://tfl.nu/fgii
  Replies (20) Good night (2859) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away... http://tfl.nu/luji
  Replies (3) Good night (1261) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank http://tfl.nu/6bon
  Replies (6) Good night (429) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms. http://tfl.nu/2jzl
  Replies (7) Good night (535) Bad night (167)

Randomize