So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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