I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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