So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.