I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.