Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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