When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
