so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
