I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
