if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
