when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
