he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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