i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
