Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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