They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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