Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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