Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
