Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
