Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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