yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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