i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
