What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
