peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
