nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize