Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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