You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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