so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize