Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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