On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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