What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
