He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize