when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Screwed.edu
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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