I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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