I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
