So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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