bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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