He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
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Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
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Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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